Hey, I’m Sam. I’m healthy and shit. I drink green juice, right? I eat salad and make my own mayonnaise. These are the things you know about me. I’m funny. Sometimes I use inappropriate language for no apparent reason. Healthy lunches, dorky videos, etc. etc.

But you don’t know everything about me — guess what?


Last Friday night, I was bored and kinda lonely, so I made cookies and ate like ten of them in a row. JUST BECAUSE I WANTED SOME COOKIE. And furthermore, spending my Friday night that way seemed like a pretty great time.


And did you also know, that last week was so stressful for me that I drank wine EVERY NIGHT before bed? (It was kind of awesome).